How do I open / close ports?

ahti currently uses iptables for this. So you better learn the syntax.
As a quick cheatsheet, you can run sudo iptables -S to see examples.

Once you have your command ready, say -A INPUT -p tcp -m tcp --dport 22 -j ACCEPT, be prepared to do the following:

sudo iptables -A INPUT -p tcp -m tcp --dport 22 -j ACCEPT
sudo ip6tables -A INPUT -p tcp -m tcp --dport 22 -j ACCEPT

And then save it all:

sudo rc-service iptables save
sudo rc-service ip6tables save

How do I point my own URL at ahti?

Take a look at /etc/h2o.conf. You will want to add your domain under hosts:. Draw inspiration from the other domains in the file.

For SSL, make sure that you have the following under your domain’s paths::

"/.well-known/acme-challenge":
  file.dir: /var/www/acme

Once you have that, run:

And you should be set.

Who is Ahti?

Ahti, the god of the sea and of fishing, is sometimes portrayed as a man with a handlebar moustache and beard of moss.

“Ahti, god of the sea and fishing”, by jmf

Sex?

You’re on your own.