How do I open / close ports?

ahti currently uses iptables for this. So you better learn the syntax.
As a quick cheatsheet, you can run sudo iptables -S to see examples.

Once you have your command ready, say -A INPUT -p tcp -m tcp --dport 22 -j ACCEPT, be prepared to do the following:

sudo iptables -A INPUT -p tcp -m tcp --dport 22 -j ACCEPT
sudo ip6tables -A INPUT -p tcp -m tcp --dport 22 -j ACCEPT

And then save it all:

sudo rc-service iptables save
sudo rc-service ip6tables save

How do I point my own URL at ahti?

Take a look at /etc/h2o.conf. You will want to add your domain under hosts:. Draw inspiration from the other domains in the file.

For SSL, make sure that you have the following under your domain’s paths::

"/.well-known/acme-challenge":
  file.dir: /var/www/acme

Once you have that, run ssl add $domain, replacing $domain with your domain. Then run sudo rc-service h2o reload so that the new certificates are used, and you should be set.

Who is Ahti?

Ahti, the god of the sea and of fishing, is sometimes portrayed as a man with a handlebar moustache and beard of moss.

“Ahti, god of the sea and fishing”, by jmf

Sex?

You’re on your own.